Tomorrow I move down to Orange County.
And for some stupid reason I decided to look through a family photo album tonight before I take off.
The first few are nice shots of my parents, right after they got married. This already starts me crying. Then we move on to baby pictures of me. This is highlighted by a certain picture which has me running for tissues. It’s of my dad leaning over me in the hospital. The story behind this picture is so special that I’m tearing up right now just thinking about it.
I start to grow older in the pictures, and now another child comes into the picture. My little brother Aaron. Of course, he’s not so little anymore; he’s even graduated high school!! Certain pictures of the two of us make me laugh and cry at the same time. We may not have always completely gotten along, but I love him and sure will miss him.
As I keep turning pages, I wish I could remember the events surrounding many of these photos. For some, the stories come back easily; for others, there is no recollection. Oh, why must early memory fade so quickly?! How I wish I could look back and remember everything that went on around those still frames. I’m sure we have some videotape somewhere, but that stuff may have already been written over or thrown out long ago.
It continues. Now we’ve moved into a house. The same house my family has lived in for nigh on 16 years. Most of my life was spent within these walls. There are many Christmases and other major family events chronicled. I see Patches, our old calico cat who died a little over a year ago in our own backyard. I think of our cats now, how they have grown so much while I haven’t been around, and how I don’t feel as much of a connection with them as I did with Patches and her brother Jack. I grew up alongside them. These new cats have lived in our house for more time than I have in this past year. They are family, but not quite in the same way.
The album cuts to my dad with some of his beloved students at graduation. Then it cuts back to me at my 8th grade promotion. Then I see pudgy little Aaron, before he became the stick that he is now, surpassing me in height. I can see that the number of pictures begins to lessen and time seems to move by much more swiftly. I almost don’t mind, since I now have better recollection of what happened during these years, but I wish that I could have something physical to look at here and now.
Some of the last pictures in this album show a time with my mom’s side of the family at Disneyland, probably a fair number of years ago. The last picture I take note of is one of my mom and dad as we wait in line for Nemo. Once again I grab tissues to dry my eyes and empty my nose. They are the same people from the beginning of the album, but there is almost 20 years’ difference between them. They have been there through everything, even as I moved away to college. I have always known that I can run to them. This will always be true, but not in the same way. In this moment, I am immensely thankful for their support through everything, and for always guiding me along.
This move is not permanent. I still have one year left at school before I’m really out on my own. But this is just another step before this house is no longer home. It always will be home for me, but again, not in the same way. I won’t even have summer and winter breaks to look forward to.
I know that this is God’s plan. He has orchestrated everything towards this point. But there is still part of me that clings to this house, to these memories. I cannot lose this grasp, or I will lose who I have grown from, thereby losing part of who I am. I can’t let this happen. My reach will just have to remain strong as I continue walking along the path the Lord has placed before me. I will not, I will not, forget.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not; Thy compassions, they fail not. As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be. Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning, new mercies I see! All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided - great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
